Relationship

Usually, people create New Year's Resolutions on January 1.

I usually don't create New Year's Resolutions at all. But, every February I find myself reflecting on the year prior and the year ahead. Looking at triumphs and failures.

This has been a year of pure blessings.

• Finding a job
• Finding 2 better jobs
• Meeting some amazing new people
• Being able to finally have some closure after 5 years
• Having the BBQ in July with SO MANY loved ones from all over
• Going to the Middle School Ministry conference again
• Growing in so many relationships with friends and family
• Waking up the past 365 days

This year has also been a challenge in many ways.

• Following the Lord's path for me in business.
• Finally facing Rebecca for the first time since 2007 (in a good way)
• Coming to the realization that a relationship not based in the Lord will ALWAYS fail
• Facing myself in the mirror, realizing that I am still broken, more so than I have allowed myself to admit.
• Finding the balance in my life between the grace the Lord has given to me and the obedience that should come from that.

One of my biggest struggles as a "new Christian" is knowing the balance and trying to do it all. I believe that a relationship with the Lord must be forever growing and developing, if it isn't growing, it's dying.

Relationships are multifaceted. They are built on connections between two parties. The connections need to be intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical. I like to think my relationship with the Lord is strong, but I know that I am lacking in many areas of this relationship.

It is important to be honest about your strengths, recognize them and use them to your fullest potential. I know that the strongest part of my relationship with the Lord is the physical relationship... Now, kindly remove your mind from the gutter... I feel closest to the Lord when serving others. This could be cooking for Middle Schoolers, taking a senior citizen grocery shopping, helping clean up efforts after Sandy, setting up the Sunday service at church, or just being around when someone needs a hand. I don't want recognition, or even a thank you. I just want to serve others. In the physical acts, I feel truly connected to God's plan for me and my relationship with Him really thrives. 

The emotional connection is there, though sometimes a little foggy. I pray often and He ALWAYS answers my prayers!! However, in my human nature, I sometimes miss the answer or pretend not to hear an answer I don't like. The emotional connection may not make sense to those around us, but when you KNOW where the Lord is calling you, or what he calling you to, just GO!!! For the most part, I am fairly firm in this part of the relationship. I trust the Lord enough to follow the path he is calling me to.

Sadly, I am completely and utterly FAILING in the intellectual and spiritual part of my relationship with The Lord. I have been reading all sorts of Christian literature (ministry books, inspirational, even some fiction). I read 1-2 books a month and find myself wishing that I could find a "Guide to Christianity". Well DUHHHHHH. The Bible is just that!! I know that the Bible is the instruction manual to being a Christian and leading the life the Lord wants, yet I read everything but the Bible. This is the intellectual part of relationship with the Lord. This is the part of my relationship that I need to work on and make better, while not allowing the other parts to suffer.

The spiritual component of a relationship is what should easily follow when the other elements are firmly in place. When your relationship with The Lord grows and flourishes, you being to live as Jesus lived, i.e. kind, patient, loving, joyous, thankful, faithful courageous, challenging, etc.  Some of these I live daily, but I know that because other areas of my relationship are lacking, this one is also lacking.

I shared all of this because, for me, February is a month of new beginnings. February is a month to really look at where I am lacking and to change from the inside out. New Year's Resolutions don't need to be delegated to a once a year thing. I would like to challenge each one of us to wake up DAILY and ask ourselves "How can I grow my relationship with the Lord TODAY???" 

Thank you to everyone reading this. Even if no one is reading this, just the knowledge that someone could possibly read it, keeps me accountable. This blog keeps me honest with myself as I write about this journey. In reflection, one of the reasons I took such a long break from blogging last year was because I didn't want to be honest. I didn't want to be vulnerable. I didn't want to admit that I was turning away from my relationship with The Lord in a lot of ways. So, THANK YOU. Thank you for reading and thank you for not reading. Thank you mostly for the chance to challenge myself with a forced accountability!

Starting Over

I started this blog a few years ago.... and I have been a HORRIBLE blogger.... Well, time to change that! I write all the time, but never post. In fact, when I realized that it has been over a year and a half since my last posting, I couldn't believe it! This past year and a half has brought so much change, and so many blessings.

Starting over is a daunting task... where to start? what to talk about? should I focus on life, or faith? That last question is where I shocked myself....

Thinking about this blog, where I started and where I am now, one thing and one thing only is completely clear in my mind.... My faith IS my life. Don't get me wrong, I live the daily life and struggle of a sinner. However, above all else, I strive to live as a Christian in ALL aspects of my life.

For those of you know my story, you know that my brother (with the Holy Spirit), is responsible for bringing me back into a relationship with The Lord. Jimmy used to always say: "The Lord has a plan for me, it isn't my job to know the plan, it isn't my job to understand the plan, and it is isn't my job to like the plan. It is only my job to live the plan to the fullest of my abilities and to remain faithful to the plan."

At the time, I didn't understand what he meant, I laughed at him and ignored him. Now, I understand fully and I am the one being laughed at by people around me.

Twice now in my life, I have turned down good job offers in favor of following the path The Lord is leading me on. To most of my friends and much of my family, my decisions have made no sense. I have chosen to put ministry higher than financial stability in my priority list. Even some of my Christian friends think I am losing it.

In the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, we read about how at least 5 of the disciples left everything "immediately" to follow Jesus. ....

In 2013, we want everything to happen "immediately". We have fast food, fast cars, fast paced jobs, children grow up faster, and with the internet and shopping malls we even shop faster. We want everything in our lives NOW. But, which one of us would leave our family, our job, and our comfortable lifestyle to follow Jesus NOW???

I am NOT suggesting that we are all called to move into a mission field right now. What I am suggesting is that in our fast paced lifestyles, it is easy for all of us (me included) not to hear the calling The Lord has for us. It is easy to say "I'll volunteer when I have time", or "Work is really busy, I'll help out when It slows down".

Our lives will never slow down, unless we make them. We need to be proactive and place our priorities on the Lord. Place our trust in Him and the plan He has for each and every one of us. I don't understand the plan The Lord has for me. And I don't have to!!!! I just have to trust!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take" (Proverbs 3:5-6)

My prayer is that The Lord will continue to light my path, that He will help me to remain strong in Him, and that He will help me be obedient in my walk on this path.

My promise and commitment to you is that I will be a better blogger and not wait until August of 2014 to blog again!