Easter Blessings

Yesterday was so busy that I didn't have time to write, but I think that is a good thing because it get me time to pray and reflect on the day.

I don't know why but I was nervous about yesterday. On Saturday night I was fidgety and didn't get any sleep (I didn't fall asleep until almost 2am and had to be up by 5:30 to get ready for church). I was completely exhausted from the race and the rest of the day, but sleep just wasn't coming.

When I woke up on Sunday morning I was awake, for getting less than 4 hours of sleep I was a lot more awake than I thought I would have been. My mind was racing with everything I needed to do before church. Because my church doesn't have a dedicated space we have to "set up" every week before church. For the holidays we actually use a very large local theater so that we can accommodate more people, however that requires more set-up. Megan and I got there early and helped unload all the guys’ trucks w/ the sound equipment, instruments, communion table, etc. Then we started setting up and getting everything ready.

It wasn't until everything was set up and finally sat down that I realized "WOW today is Easter, the Lord is RISEN!!!" Although I have been a Catholic my whole life Easter was always just another Sunday, except Easter Sunday I always had to get dressed up, deal with the extra 500 people who ONLY go to church on Easter & Christmas, and then go to my aunt's house for dinner at 2pm after church. Easter was more about ritual and doing things I would rather not be doing. Sitting in the theater yesterday morning I was feeling excited and scared at the same time.

For the first time I felt a real excitement for Easter, Jesus Christ has RISEN!! He has risen and in rising he has taken away my sins and reconnected me with our true and loving Father. How lucky am I!!

But I was also feeling scared. How unworthy am I of his love? I turned my back on him for so many years and I not only turned my back but I was angry and full of malice. I sat there yesterday and part of me really wanted to get up and leave because I really didn't feel worthy to be there... until the service started.

That many people lifting their voices in song to worship the Lord was breathtaking.... and then Christian began his sermon...

Christian's sermon focused on John chapter 21, when Jesus visits Peter and the other fishermen on the beach after he rose from the dead. The parallels between the story of Peter's denial and Jesus’ visit can't be denied. Peter denied Jesus 3 times next to a charcoal fire, and then told Jesus that he loves him 3 times next to a charcoal fire. Jesus came to Peter and asked him if he loved him. Jesus didn't say anything about Peter's denial. He didn't admonish Peter for the denial. He didn't tell Peter to prove he love on the spot, or to deny his denial. Jesus simply told Peter to feed & tend to his flock.

Jesus didn't hold Peter's past against him, he simply asked him to move toward the future. Jesus asked him to change his behavior going forward. I can do that!! I have been a denier in the past, but I will not be a denier in the future. As I walk on this journey of living a Christian life I will learn more, I will do more, I will love more, and I will share more.

I don't know everything, and I never will, but I do know that the Lord loves me, he had forgiven me, and he has taken my sin. In exchange he wants me to love others and show them the love and compassion that he has shown me. I can do that!!

I am so blessed to be part of a community that brings such blessings week after week and I pray that as I continue to grow in my faith I will be able to help others, the way that others have helped me.